In one form or another, a feeling of disconnect has crept into a moment of our lives. A disconnect from reality, school, siblings, ourselves, parents, or even a disconnect from God, which creates feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, invisibility, dread, or even a feeling of never being good enough. This debilitating experience has enveloped at least one moment of our mortal life, and the feelings surrounding it make the world an endlessly gloomy day.
But, as moments like these arise and all we want to do it hit the snooze button on life one more time, we find a way out. We find our way back into the embrace of our parents’ tender love, or we find ourselves appreciating the person who we have become. But, seemingly like it is destined to happen, we find ourselves back in the same dreaded place, wondering how we ever managed to remove the pitiful dread of being disconnected.
So, how did we do it? How do we magically appear back into a world of grandeur? I believe that much of this tribulation comes from our relationships, whether that is with God, our parents, or friends. It isn’t that these relationships are bad, but that a gap between you and them begins to expand into an endless gulf, where the dominant feeling is heartache. This distance between you and those who matter most is the root that needs to be pulled. Now, this image is great, and I am sure that all of you are ready to go pull that root, but where do we start? A relationship doesn’t heal overnight.
First, we need to allow people to be there with us. As much as we may love our personal time, we need to allow people to create experiences with us. In the example of our parents and as awkward as they may be sometimes, we need to allow them to experience the things that bring us joy. They should know what made us happy today, or what we are most excited for in the week. Whatever experience it is, we need to allow those who matter most to experience it with us.
Now this is easy to see with our parents or friends, but creating an experience with God is a little different. Since God doesn’t always show him self to us, we need to communicate in his way, which is through prayer. Prayer is how God wants us to communicate with him, but most of the time we miss the mark. Prayer isn’t just to talk to God; prayer is the moment where God experiences life with us. Our prayers should be telling God about the amazing person we met at school or the joy that we felt when over coming a difficult task. It is an intimate relationship between you and your Father in Heaven, so make it that way. Make your prayers into a personal relationship that goes beyond the casual conversations of life.
Second, we need to be vulnerable with those who matter most. Expressing the emotions that fill our souls or the worries that plague our day is a difficult task since we trust that others won’t share the pains that hurt our souls. As children, this vulnerable state that we create with our parents is vital. In addition to giving our parents a moment to express their admiration for us, we allow our parents to give us the council that we need.
For God, this vulnerable state is created in the same way. When we share the tribulations that we are experiencing and listen for an answer from God, it extinguishes that gulf that separates us from God. From these moments, God’s council will mend us, but we must be actively listening for the answer that he gives us, whether that is through a friend, the scriptures, the prophet, or our parents.
Lastly, this journey of mending a relationship needs a characteristic that is difficult to do. This journey needs patience. At the beginning of my mission, this experience of disconnect happened with everyone that I knew. My parents were thousands of miles away, my companion and I weren’t close, and I didn’t feel close to my mission president. So, you can imagine that every Monday I looked forward to talking with my parents, but instead of receiving joy and solace, I received the unwelcome news of someone passing away. Week after week, the endlessly gloomy day seemed to only grow darker, and I was ready to give up.
One day, I decided to ask God for some help. I was imagining that I would instantly be comforted, and that the day would be bright again, but all I heard was God tell me to be patient. My heart was broken, and this day never seemed like it would end. After four and a half months of praying, reading, and doing my best in the mission field, I started to enjoy what I was doing. I had an amazing time with my companions, and I found myself again. What was an endlessly gloomy day turned into a moment of relief because I decided to have patience while I diligently sought.
Brothers and Sisters, I know that each of us has had these gloomy days that we relentlessly try to end. I urge you to find the relationship that is causing those gloomy days to appear and to mend it. Allow people to be there for you and be vulnerable with them, but most importantly be patient while you heal these relationships, especially the one with God. I know that you are his child, but for you to know this; you need to remove this distance between you and him. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.