Last year, while I was an FSY Counselor, I was deeply impacted by the stories I listened to from youth from various backgrounds and counselors facing unique challenges. Each stories unfolded, revealing either a triumphant victory or a treacherous heartache that defined who they were. Unfortunately, most spoke of these battles, leaving these magnificent people feeling isolated, unseen, and like an open wound faceted upon the backs of others.
After these individuals released the built-up pain behind these stories, I would ask one simple question: “Who is proud of you?” With this question hanging in the air, a silence filled the room. Then, in a soft mutter, they would often say,” I don’t know,” and tears welled in their eyes, threatening to spill over. In that moment, sitting with these youth and councilors, God would help me show them who is proud of them, and He would help me lift their hands that were hanging down.
Recall the silence that followed the question, ‘Who is proud of you?’ That Silence spoke volumes and resonated with Elder Ronald A. Rasband’s message: “Words matter!” Like the youth and counselors at FSY, who needed to know someone was proud of them, our words hold profound power – they can uplift or harm others. Therefore, may I suggest a few ways we can improve: offering genuine compliments, sincerely saying “I love you”, “I am sorry”, and “Thank you”, and showing others that we are proud of them.
Firstly, think back to a time when someone complimented you on your performance or character. Capturing that moment in your mind, how did you feel? I’ll give you a time to think. But hopefully you felt a sense of being on top of the world, of joy, or you felt noticed. In any case, that compliment changed what was a normal day into a day with a little more sunshine. Why then, in fulfilling the second greatest commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves, do we struggle to share this joy, when we see greatness in others?
As small as these compliments may seem, they can change a life. Let me illustrate this through a story about my college friends. On an ordinary day after a calculus test, my friend was feeling particularly low about the grade that she had received. I came over and together we sat down in complete silence. Eventually, we began to talk and found ourselves talking about the talents we had. My friend listed off how she was smart with math, how she was able to dance, and how she cared a lot for her family; however, the list ended there. As I have continued to talk with her, I have noticed that no one has told her that she has a beautiful singing voice. No one has told her that she had an innate ability to deeply listen to people and empathize with what they are going through. No one had told her of these hidden talents that she possessed, which made her never recognize these as talents that she had.
When you see a hidden talent that someone has, tell that person about that talent you saw. It is the small compliments that can brighten a day, but those same small compliments can change the lens that someone looks out of.
Second, in Elder Ronald A. Rasband’s talk from last general conference, he talked about saying three phrases more often. “I love you”, “I am sorry”, and “Thank you”. These phrases have powerful meanings, and we should say them more often; however, what if we take these phrases a step further by explaining why. Why do you love them? Why are you sorry? Why are you thankful? For example: I love you because when I am down in the dumps, wallowing on my knees, you are always there for me, and I know that I would do the same for you. Or thank you for listening to me rabble. I needed someone to talk me through this. In any situation that you find yourself in, challenge yourself to go beyond the simple I love you, I am sorry, or thank you. You will find that adding a little more will make those phrases more meaningful to the person receiving it.
Lastly, the most influential way to impact another’s life is to show them that you are proud of them. Being told that someone is proud of you, that they can see you are becoming something better, helps you recognize who you are, what you are worth, and most importantly it gives you a glimpse of what God see for you. Like these youth and counselors from FSY, everyone needs someone you who is proud of them. Who believes in them. Brothers and sisters be that person for someone else, for the person that you genuinely are proud of and want to see them succeed.
In conclusion, words do matter. Complements can change someone’s day. A sincere “I love you”, “I am sorry”, or “Thank you” can change your relationship for a lifetime. But, when you show someone that you are proud of them, you change that person’s life for eternity. In all, I leave you with this challenge. Either in person, over the phone, or over a voice message, explain in full detail to someone why you are proud of who they have become, who they are becoming, and what they are capable of. I testify that you will change their lives and you will get a glimpse of what God has instore for them. They are His children, and you are His child. I know that God is proud of you. He knows what you have become, what you are becoming, and what you are capable of. These things I testify of, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.